Not for the faint hearted..

Apologies for the content of this blog but it was too funny not to share.

Charlie has been potty trained for quite some time now, however he refuses to go for a number two on the toilet, insisting on still using the potty. He has a charming habit of describing his poo to whoever has the misfortune of being within earshot.  Cries of 'It looks just like a sausage' are quite common (and have also put me off sausages quite a bit).

Anyway today Charlie informed me he was off to 'do a poo' and as usual I told him to call me when he was done so I could sort him out.  A few minutes later he yelled 'Mum I am finished, you need to come see this, it looks just like a boat!!  Look look its sailing in all the wee'

And you know what, it kinda did ;)

He's not with me....

I remember when my eldest niece (who is now 11) was 2 and she slapped a lady in the face in Debenhams who had pinched her cheek.  Personally I didn't have too much sympathy for the lady, if someone pinched my cheek I think I would have slapped them too!  My sister in law was mortified however.

One of the things I was always slightly worried about when we decided to have children (alongside the multitude of 'normal' worries you have about parenthood) was how I would feel if any of my kids were to do or say something embarrassing to a stranger when we were out and about.  We have all heard stories about some innocent child loudly asking 'Why is that man so fat?' or 'Why does that lady have a beard?'.  Hilarious when it happens to someone else, not so much when its you!

Charlie has been pretty kind to me on this front and apart from one incident where he called a giant scary looking man a pig at the local park, I thought I had gotten off pretty lightly.  However yesterday in the Post Office he decided to make up for it. We were being served at the counter when an elderly gentleman came up to the counter next to us.  I could see Charlie staring at him and a little alarm bell started ringing in my head....

Charlie (quite loudly) - Mum look at that old granddad
Me (quietly) Charlie that is rude, help me with the post
Charlie (louder) - No but Mum look how old he is
Me  - Charlie it is rude to call someone old
Charlie (in a voice to raise the dead) - But mum he is really really old, he has old hair and an old face..
Me -  Charlie stop being rude and help me with the post!
Charlie - But mum!!
Me - Charlie!
Charlie then grabs my face turns it towards the man and in a voice that could be heard in space yells - LOOK AT THE OLD GRANDDAD, HE IS REALLY REALLY REALLY OLD

I exited red faced leaving a baffled old man, a cashier in stitches and Charlie utterly confused as to why I was in such a rush.

Brotherly love

Since having Chicken Pox Charlie has been really funny about getting changed or having a bath, he wants to keep the spots covered up all the time which has been a bit of a challenge as they are everywhere!!  Today we found out the reason why though...

Charlie (after being to the loo) - HELP MUMMY I NEED TO PULL MY TROUSERS UP REALLY QUICKLY!!
Me - Why?
Charlie - I need to pull them up before Alex sees my spots. I am very worried about him
Me - Ok. But why are you worried about him?
Charlie - Because if Alex sees my spots then he will get spots too and he will be poorly and I will feel sad

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

Charitable donations

I have had enough.  The situation has become unbearable and action must be taken.  What am I talking about?  The absolutely ridiculous amount of toys the boys have accrued in the last few years!  They are everywhere!  I put my shoes on and there is a car in them, I go to the loo and Lego men are watching me from the sink, every time I go to take my purse out of my bag plastic food or crayons come out instead...

As Charlie has got to stay off nursery for the week due to his recent Chicken 'pops' I thought I would try and get him involved in the mass clear out I am intending on doing...

Me: Charlie, shall we go through your toys and take all the ones you don't play with somewhere other children can play with them

Charlie:  Why?

Me:  Because you have a lot of toys you don't play with and some children don't have any toys and it would make them really happy if you were to give them some of yours.

Charlie:  No that is not a good idea

Me: Why not?

Charlie:  Those children don't have any toys because Santa doesn't think they are good

Me: No that is not true.  There are lots of reasons they might not have toys like their parents not having much money or because they are poorly.

Charlie:  Oh well ok

Me:  So we can give them some of your toys?

Charlie: No (thinks for a minute)..do they have any cats?

Me:  I don't know

Charlie:  We will give them the cat, they will like that

They might, not sure the cat would be too thrilled though!!  Looks like I will be doing the clear out by myself next week when he is back at nursery!! 

Chicken Pops

Well sods law has struck again! We are spending the bank holiday weekend at my parents and Charlie has come down with Chicken pox..or chicken pops as he calls it. Poor thing is covered in spots and has been sick overnight. We have managed to get out and about and enjoy some sunshine though so not all bad. Charlie was however mortified when we explained to him he had chicken pox. "I DO NOT HAVE CHICKEN POPS, I HAVE NEVER EVEN EATEN A CHICKEN POP' :) Guess we didnt explain that too well then!!

Just a man..

Sorry quick blog this morning..

Charlie just walked out of his bedroom carrying a toy saucepan and a foam sword wearing his new sunglasses, looked at me very seriously and said;

'I'm just a man with a sword and a pan'

then turned and walked away.  I nearly choked on my tea! I have no idea what was behind that one!!